Student mothers interviewed for the research paper about their experiences of institutional culture at UCT reported receiving some support, but said it wasn’t consistent. Photo Michael Hammond.
By Victor Ouko
As the world continues to move towards a more inclusive society, the role of women has evolved significantly. Women are now taking on more leadership roles, pursuing higher education, and even balancing the demands of motherhood with the pursuit of their education.
For many, it is a daily struggle and a challenge that they are determined to overcome but for the campus mothers, it’s a way of life. Depression aside, the moment they face reality that they are soon going to become parents, everything changes so abruptly and stigma hits even harder. Things sound much worse if at all they were raised by harsh or strict parents. They gradually begin losing the courage of facing their parents or guardians and to some, the family gap starts widening. Some automatically feel like they are a disgrace to their families and the society at large.
Many a time’s parents always find themselves in a critical state of joy and sorrow whenever their children qualify to join campus. For many reasons, they tend to make a series of congratulatory notes, buy gifts and even host celebrations. Relatives get notified about the success of their nephews and nieces and they even initiate them with names such as: ‘daktari’ or ‘rubani’. That takes the joyful part of it, forgetting that their sons and daughters can as well push them to a sorrowful end full of regrets. Rarely do they remember that they are in the realm of getting surprised with poor grades or a grandchild from their children on campus. That notwithstanding, being a campus mother is no easy feat. While most college students are worried about their grades, exams, and social lives, student parents have to juggle between academic responsibilities and parenting duties, often feeling overwhelmed and isolated. Many university students often find themselves in the family way after conception and they begin thinking of better ways of raising their children after delivery. However, the challenges faced by parents on campus is an issue that should never be understated.
Marion, 21, a student at Rongo University narrates her painful story of how she got pregnant immediately after joining campus. For Marion, the struggle of balancing motherhood and studies was a constant battle. Marion had enrolled in a degree program after her secondary education, determined to provide a better life for her family. However, her plans were interrupted when she unexpectedly became pregnant with her firstborn child. “I was barely 19 when I realized I had conceived. At first, I thought my periods were playing a trick on me but after two months, I decided to go for a pregnancy test so as to be sure of my weird condition. Under close supervision of my friend, we took the self-test kit and eventually the results turned out to be positive. I felt like I could lose my mind because I had graduated into another stage in life. That I will soon have a kid. I immediately took a shot of the results and sent it to my boyfriend who was also a student in another university. I kept checking my phone for any response, but there was none. I tried to reach out for him only to find out that he had blocked me. He then responded to my WhatsApp message the next day and all he could say was, ‘OK’. That reply was a clear indication that I was alone in this. I really couldn’t understand what he meant by that, whether he had accepted the pregnancy or he could deny it. We stayed for two weeks without any communication. He later called me and suggested, no, insisted on taking an abortion. That alone shocked more than amazed me. I fell into a depression stage for two months. All I did was to cry everyday whenever it crossed my mind that I was expectant. Rarely did I eat. I was in a dilemma, I lost weight, became an introvert and had low self-esteem. The main puzzle was how I could face my furious father with the news that he least expected,” says Marion.
Marion was overjoyed to have a child, but the reality of being a student parent was overwhelming. She had to attend classes, complete assignments, and take exams while taking care of her child’s needs. Marion often found herself staying up late into the night, trying to complete her coursework while her child slept. Despite her efforts, Marion’s grades suffered, and she found herself struggling to keep up with her classmates. She felt like she was failing both as a student and as a mother, and the stress and anxiety were taking a toll on her mental health.
Marion was not alone in her struggles. Across campus, other campus mothers were facing similar challenges. They too had to deal with the guilt of not being able to spend enough time with their children while trying to complete their degrees. They had to sacrifice their leisure time to meet their obligations, often feeling like they were missing out on the college experience.
Being a campus student, she tried all she could to take good care of herself and the fact that she had strict parents made her reveal her pregnancy two weeks before delivery. This becomes a challenge to most girls who stumble along their academic journey and some opt to keep off from home.
“I called my dad on the very day of delivery just to keep him informed because he had been mad at me since the day I broke the news to him. However, I developed complications after giving birth. I faced several challenges having given birth for the first time. I didn’t know what to do whenever the baby cried, I was in a quandary because different people advised me differently so I couldn’t take sides. I did not attend classes for two months since I had not fully recovered, at times some lecturers threatened that I would retake the course due to prolonged absenteeism because there was no daycare facility around,” Marion reveals.
Through the support of her fellow campus mothers, Marion found the strength to keep going. She began to attend study groups with other student parents, sharing tips and tricks on how to balance academics and parenting. She also began to take advantage of the university’s support systems, which helped to ease some of the burden of motherhood and studies.
According to Mr Benson Asugo, the Dean of students at Rongo University, “we are concerned about the academic life as well as the students’ lives outside class. We don’t hesitate offering solutions if our students are getting weighed down with personal and emotional issues such as health, accommodation, catering and general welfare that can interfere with their studies. However, many girls fall pregnant in the course of their studies and this interferes with their academics. Some are forced to retake courses whereas some fail to finish school but the office of the dean is primarily concerned with students’ welfare from the time they enter into the university to the time they graduate,” he says.
Despite these challenges, Marion was determined to pursue her studies and provide a better life for her family. She found creative ways to balance academic and parenting responsibilities, such as studying at night after her child has gone to bed or bringing her child to class with her.
“I was at times forced to introduce my child to bottle milk at a tender age because I could attend part time classes for long hours which translated to other expenses because the kid could have diarrhea after consuming the bottle milk. This was a challenge to me because I had no money to cater for my child’s hospital bills since my boyfriend had neglected his responsibility and I was forced to ask for financial aid from people who were also not willing to help back at home,” remarks Marion.
Mr Tobias Maina (not his real name), a medical expert, reveals his experience with students who seek services at the school facility. “At our university clinic, we have seen the firsthand challenges faced by campus mothers. These challenges can have impacts on their health and wellbeing, both physically and mentally.
One of the most significant challenges faced by campus mothers is the lack of access to affordable childcare. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, all of which can have a negative impact on a mother’s physical and mental health. Many campus mothers also struggle with financial constraints, which can make it difficult for them to access healthcare services and support systems.
Another challenge is the lack of support from family members and partners. This can lead to social isolation and feelings of loneliness, which can also have a negative impact on mental health. Additionally, the stigma associated with motherhood and education can lead to feelings of shame and inadequacy, which can also impact a mother’s self-esteem and overall wellbeing,” he says.
Responding to another question during the interview, Tobias had the following to say, “Universities can take several steps to better support campus mothers. For example, they can create support groups and mentorship programs for campus mothers to help them connect with other mothers facing similar challenges. Additionally, they can work to reduce the stigma associated with motherhood and education by promoting a culture of inclusivity and support for all students, regardless of their parenting status. Overall, it is essential for universities to recognize and address the unique challenges faced by campus mothers and provide the necessary support and resources to help them achieve academic success while maintaining their health and wellbeing.”
As the semester drew to a close, Marion looked back at her journey with a sense of pride and accomplishment. She had overcome the challenges of motherhood and studies, proving that anything is possible with hard work and determination. While the journey was tough, the lessons she learned and the connections she made with other campus mothers were invaluable. Marion now looks forward to the future, confident that she can achieve anything she sets her mind to.
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