Poems by Tafadzwa Mutandakamwe aka Starly Taa from Zimbabwe
Ego, rudeness, tyrannical, this all started when she embarked on a 1way street journey. A decision that made a vicissitude in my life and pushed her to sacrifice her sempiternal love she had for me. All was lost within the snap of a finger. Magic, it was indeed.
What’s keeping me breathing is the rollercoaster of memories we had together. Gone is the time people used to adore our mother-daughter relationship. All we now do is be at loggerheads. I’m dubious, delusional, it got me thinking If the love she gave me was from the bottom of her heart, or it was just a facade.
My life seems to be on a halt. Even though I spent ages on the chronometer, the time seems to have stopped ticking. We are in spring, but it feels like I’m still in winter, only because I’ve been derelict. My heart is bleeding, I have run out of tears, and I’m now a host of depression.
I used to hope for the night to end, eager for the sun to shine, but nowadays, I wish the sun never come out. I watch her every morning grabbing her purse in haste and leave for work. In the evening, I eagerly wait for her arrival so as to share my problems, but it just is impossible. All she can tell me is, “I’m busy”.
Life has been such a cruel and selfish leader on my side. A mother is busy chasing after money rather than her daughter’s happiness. A father is busy enjoying with another family while I, the daughter, is battling with myself. They both have forgotten about my existence.
It has become too hard for me to handle. I feel suffocated, unwanted, orphaned, deceived and lost. Maybe it’s high time I kick off the bucket. I will be better off with the dead, then I won’t no longer be a burden to anyone anymore!