If They Can Leave Her When Pregnant, It’s Okay If They Leave Him When Broke
By Athuman Said
For decades, women have silently carried the weight of emotional betrayal, especially during the most vulnerable phases of their lives pregnancy being one of them. Pregnancy, often romanticized in movies and advertisements, is in reality a demanding period both physically and emotionally. Yet, countless women have been left to face it alone. Some men, overwhelmed by the weight of responsibility or simply disinterested, choose to abandon their partners when they need them the most. Conversely, when men go through difficult financial times—be it job loss, business collapse, or general hardship—society expects unconditional support from their partners. A woman who walks away from a broke man is instantly labeled a “gold-digger” or “materialistic,” while little is said about the men who walk out on their pregnant partners.
“I was seven months pregnant when he said he wasn’t ready for a child,” narrates Jane M., a 27-year-old single mother from Nairobi. “He blocked me on all platforms. No explanation. Just silence.”
Jane’s story is not unique. A report by the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics (KNBS) in 2023 revealed that nearly 35% of pregnant women in urban areas experience some form of abandonment—either emotional, financial, or physical—by their partners.Pregnancy changes a woman’s life permanently. Besides the physical transformation, the hormonal changes and emotional toll are immense. To be left alone during such a critical time not only affects the woman but also the child.
On the flip side, men too go through periods of vulnerability—chief among them being financial instability. The pressure to provide and be the “man of the house” is heavily ingrained in many cultures. When they lose their jobs or businesses, men face not just the reality of poverty, but also a blow to their ego and identity.”I lost my job during COVID and things went downhill,” says Thomas K., a 32-year-old engineer. “My girlfriend left. She said I was no longer the man she fell in love with. I felt worthless.”Stories like Thomas’s highlight that men too face emotional abandonment, especially when they can no longer offer material support. Society often forgets that men, like women, need emotional support and validation. Financial hardship should not translate to diminished human worth.
The core of this issue lies in reciprocity. If a man can walk away from a woman during pregnancy—arguably the hardest time in her life—then is it not fair for a woman to walk away from a man when he’s broke?This isn’t about revenge or tit-for-tat. It is about fairness, empathy, and rethinking our expectations of love and loyalty.Both scenarios reflect abandonment in times of need. Yet, society often condemns only one side—typically the woman. She is told to “build with him,” to “stay loyal,” and to “hold him down.” But who holds the woman down when she is at her lowest
Relationships should be built on mutual respect, commitment, and emotional support. Whether one partner is pregnant or the other is financially down, both deserve understanding and loyalty.Dr. Caroline Murugi, a psychologist based in Nairobi, believes that “modern relationships are struggling because people enter them with unrealistic expectations and gendered scripts.” According to her, “Support should be mutual. It should not be demanded only of women or only of men. The moment we start expecting equal effort from both sides, we’ll have healthier relationships.”
This conversation also opens up a wider dialogue about gender roles in modern society. For too long, women have been expected to endure suffering in silence. They are expected to stay with abusive, absent, or irresponsible partners because “a woman must endure.” Meanwhile, men have been allowed to retreat at the first sign of difficulty in a relationship—especially when it involves emotional or long-term responsibility.But today’s generation is challenging those narratives. More women are walking away from relationships that do not serve them. More men are speaking up about emotional struggles and seeking help. The tide is turning.
“If they can leave her when pregnant, it’s okay if they leave him when broke” is more than a catchy statement. It is a reflection of societal hypocrisy and a call to action. It invites us to examine the way we define loyalty, love, and commitment. It asks: why is one partner expected to stay through storms while the other gets to walk away?In the end, every human being deserves to be supported through life’s storms—be it pregnancy or poverty. True love is tested not when the skies are clear but when the clouds gather. Let’s hold each other down—not because of societal pressure, but because we believe in mutual care and compassion.
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