The Mt Kenya Times 
By: N. George
Many psychological challenges among the adults are as a result of poor conditions while growing. When a child grows up experiencing unconditional love and security he or she enjoys inner peace, security, trust and healthy relationships all which will manifest even at adult life.
Reparenting is something done to help you get what you did not receive during your young age due to failure by parents or those who were around you.
Reparenting is also referred to as limited parenting
Reparenting requires time, serious and honest conversations about our past. The happy thing about it is that when properly done it pays off.
Some reasons for need to reparenting are
- Abuse by parents.
- Emotional absence.
- Constant criticism from the parent.
- Restlessness due to frequent relocations.
- School bullying and foster.
Reparenting helps in bridging the gap of lack or recovery and building of healthy relationships with the parents and with ourselves.
Reparenting helps in identifying the missing links during our young hood and provides us with the right conditions for our hearts to heal.
We can work on reparenting ourselves or else it can be done through a therapist who takes the role of a caretaker
Some ways to reparent yourself:
- Believing in yourself
- Loving yourself
- Reading motivating books and listening to motivating plays
- Adequate sleep
- Taking good care of yourself
- Doing nice things to yourself
- Positive affirmations
- Being compassionate with yourself
- Encouraging yourself to pursue your interests.
- Appreciate the achievements that you had got
- Setting healthy boundaries with others
In reparenting we find the child in ourselves and try to please that child by making him or her feel loved, listened to and cared for; failure to which bad childhood experiences keep haunting us.
The bad childhood experiences costs us full enjoyment of lives by wrecking our relationships and turning happiness into bitterness and regrets. Any simple trigger reminds us of the unfinished business in the childhood and the reaction is usually negative resulting to unhealthy relationships.
When reparenting is done by a therapist they try to renature us by filling the void that was left due to poor parenting, they assume the role of a parent or a guardian.
Therapists take us to the young hood and help us to heal the old unhealed wounds. They first ensure we develop trust in them; this enables us to feel secure when talking to them about our experiences.
This can be done by therapist through
Feeding us
Holding us
Offering us words of affirmation
Identifying our strengths and appreciating them
Emotional support
Tasking us to write about our inner child and respond to our inner children.
Therapists can also guide us on how to reparent ourselves. They help us to identify our strengths and capitalize on them to heal old wounds and self soothe ourselves.
Therapists also inquire from us on what usually makes us feel hurt. Some of those hurting issues include:
- Being ignored by others
- Being belittled by others
- Being talked down to
- Being made fun of
- Being unappreciated
It is advisable to reparent self if possible rather than going to a therapist because it may lead to you being dependent on a therapist this results to loss of control of your life yet in yourself you possess all what is required for self-healing.
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