Self-Awareness Intentional Parenting: Technique For Peaceful Homes
The Mt Kenya Times 
By Mary Karau Ngethe
Self-awareness is our focus of this week.
Last week, we focused on “peaceful woman for a peaceful family” to celebrate women achievements during International Women’s Day. Oprah Winfrey, the famous American media icon, actress talk show host and philanthropist, in her podcasts to mark International Women’s day says that “Mothers should always receive awards for Just Being Mothers. She considers motherhood the most challenging job on earth, where women never go to school to learn how to be a mother, yet they are expected to partner with professional teachers to produce stable young persons to rule and manage our world”.
The author of this article is a mother, a grandmother, and agrees with Oprah fully. It is challenging but also very rewarding! Kudos also to mothers who have no biological children but are mothers to many!
Self-awareness and intentional parenting
The two concepts are interconnected and can have a profound impact on parenting and child development.
A parent who has clarity on “who he or she is” will be good at recognizing self-emotions, understanding what triggers these emotions, and be better able to manage the emotions when dealing with their children, and to treat the spouse with respect in front of the children.
How each parent manages self can have a profound impact on the child development.
A parent who yells to a spouse and/or children is only planting toxicity that might once poison him or her. One might want to stop yelling, but is unable to stop.
Self-awareness is a technique that can be used to stop the yelling yelling and any other undesired parental parten.
Understanding Yourself (Self-Awareness): Knowledge about self can help a parents understand their thoughts, feelings (emotions) and behaviors leading to greater self-acceptance, self-love and increased inner peace. Once parents acquire a clear understanding about themselves, they reduce self-judgment by recognizing personal strengths and challenges, minimizing self-criticism and reducing inner turmoil.
This can lead to the parents becoming more positive and letting go of negativity especially by tracing how they gained the negativity. (May be from their parents, especially in childhood). This allows the parents to identify and release negative patterns, emotions and thoughts that can disrupt inner peace in the family.
Once parents become positive, they speak positive words, and discipline children in a positive constructive manner.
Such a parent will also treat the spouse with positivity and respect even when the spouses are wrong. The positive parent is likely to create time for mindfulness, which cultivates peaceful self-talk, focused thoughts while blocking external noise.
This practice can lead to well thought-out decisions that benefit themselves and the whole family. The parent will develop the kind of values and principles to give to the children, leading to a Family Vision (intended parenting). The environment in the home will be conductive for healthy child development.
Developing emotional regulation
A parent who has embraced self-awareness technique is likely to have emotional regulation. This means the parent will rarely relate with the children or spouse with emotions, positive or negative.
A parent has a very noble duty of nurturing a tiny little baby to a stable adult, a process that takes 18 to 30 years, at the bear minimum.
This parent continuously molds this child on daily basis until they become young adults ready to become parents and run their own homes.
A parent with well-regulated emotions will undertake this role and still enjoy the journey, and not feeling it as a burden. Since they have developed an intentional parenting plan, they will periodically measure whether they are succeeding in creating the intended children, when the children are still young, and rectify any challenges identified. Of course this journey will require God, for no human being can control nature. Prayer for the family has to be an important component of this journey
Family Conflict Management
An intentional parent, with good emotional regulation will be better able to handle family conflict when it occurs.
Effective conflict resolution for reconciliation is a skill that a self-aware parents will seek in pursuit of the intended family.
Have a conflict free week for a haven in our homes!
Mary Karau Ngethe Is The Program Director, Central Kenya Development Network (CKDN). She can be reached on +254722652111 or marykaraungethe@gmail.com
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