Abie Rachel ogoh Nyassi
I was in a mystery,
Tomorrow will be history,
Yesterday I was in pain,
Tomorrow I will gain,
Today’s a progress,
Tomorrow more success,
Today I am here,
Tomorrow i will be there,
On the path to the top
I will not forget those who lifted me up.
The ones who encourage me to study harder,
The ones who believe I will make it through
My head is the most accurate,
Measuring machine that’s ever been built,
My hand draws scales
In every articulation of my blood
Fostering a sense of certainty,
In every step I take.
My life is a living hell. Everyone around me sees me as a perfectly happy person and they’ve told me so. I lost my identity. In the process, I already have so many masks covering my ugly sadness. The happy and laughing one. My mask has created its own living being and has given me an identity. I’ve been made to realize that my life is a mirror to show me how imperfect I am.
Most nights if not every night, I cry myself to sleep because of the emotional toll this pain is taking on me. It seems nobody weeps the same way as I do, maybe I haven’t met one. I thought of hiding myself in poetry. I thought of been a motivational speaker , as much as, carve stories through meditation ; so that I can stay sane. But I ended up wearing a mask everyday.
Yes, they don’t understand. They never do! I tried to explain, but I couldn’t get them to hear beyond my words. I tried to sour my face, but they couldn’t see beyond my smile. The more I tell them the truth that I feel so depressed, the more they say I am okay.
I get myself hurt the more I reach out to people, and I asked myself; “Is it so hard to find people that could listen to my story and see the pains beneath each line?”
I guess the answer is no! So here I sit in my room, locked in my personal hell to write the pain down. At least, it will weaken its strength and I’ll be totally free because I’ve shared it to this diary.
I know you may be wondering! And now you’re very much eager to know my situation that makes me enjoy talking of pain in such a manner as if I’ve won a ticket to travel the world.
I remain your poet,
Abie Rachel ogoh Nyassi.
The Gambia 🇬🇲
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