The Mt Kenya Times 
By: Paula .O.M Otukile
25 November to 10 December marks the international GBV Activism campaign however there is a neglected portion of a society which is men, men are crying inside, because some are abused and they got no room to voice their opinions, their abuse because societal expectations of masculinity covers their pain.
Some men when they report the GBV, they are are taken seriously, some instances some officers ask “ware o betswa Ke mosadi?” That on its own makes more men to keep quiet when abused.
Some men are psychologically abused in their relationships and marriages, but they take it all in, are embarrassed to talk about it and when a men is not working, some women often put them down daily, “o sekopa, bankane ba gago ba ile ditirong, ga o kgone go nthusa!” Hence the men suffer cheating, belittling and hardly say a thing.
These things pile up and are the major cause of emotional burst that renders passion killing, as some men strive to provide, and providing to a person, who is ungrateful, cheats, and disrespectful it fuels fights, violence.
Some men are raped, sexual intercourse in a relationship is a mutual thing, but usually it is initiated by men, no one has made that rule for a man to initiate sex in a relationship , however women are emancipated these days, they do initiate their desires for sex. But some women has taken this right out of context, when they are the ones providing they take the right of a man and do force their partners to sleep with them.
Does it justify killings? No, life is sacred, no man must kill a partner because of short comings or abuse, if someone abuses the right thing to do is to walk away, from the relationship.
However even though it evident that some men are abused, Women and children are still widely abused, and this must stop.
Governments must empower women with more training and skills so that they can be financially stable as economic situations are more intertwined to GBV.
A girl child must be protected more and be educated and ready for the future.
The increase in climatic conditions also changes behavior patterns of the people, thus increasing rates of the GBV. In summer women tend to show more of their bodies because they want to relax, and be cool, however some men with perverted minds preys on the ladies, and the stereotype behind cold weather and the rainy weather it increases the GBV statistics according to Van Daalen, KR. Extreme events and gender based violence: a mixed- methods systematic review; Lancet Planetary Health; 14 June 2022; DOI: 10.1016/PIIS2542-5196(22)00088-2.
The concept of love and marriage must be the idea to build a peaceful and comfortable home as role models to the offsprings not a disintegrated chaotic union.
This ideology shall uplift the families and relationships and reduce the GBV.
Abuse happens because there is no love but simply, where there is love, there is peace, respect, and absence of vices.
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