Shaxnoza Poyonova Sanjarovna
By: Shaxnoza Poyonova Sanjarovna
Annotation: Today, there is an increasing demand in our society for educated, moral, well-mannered, and righteous individuals. Many works and articles are being published about child upbringing. Raising knowledgeable, intelligent, and righteous children is a necessity of the time. This article discusses how to properly raise a child.
Keywords: national prosperity, spiritual well-being, human perfection.
The family is a fundamental part and the foundation of society. The formation of a person begins in the family. The healthier the family environment is, the more likely it is that children raised in it will grow up to be moral, educated, faithful, and, most importantly, real human beings.
Upbringing is a complex, continuous, and holistic process. In this context, it plays a major role in shaping a perfect person. Especially in child upbringing, it is required from parents, teachers, and all responsible individuals to demonstrate high levels of knowledge, patience, morals, responsibility, and similar virtues.
As Abdulla Avloniy once wrote:
“To ensure a child’s happiness and well-being, one must provide proper upbringing, keep the body clean, guide them from an early age, teach good behavior, and protect them from bad traits. Educators are like doctors—just as a doctor treats the patient’s body, an educator should treat the child’s spirit with the medicine of good behavior and cleanliness.”
He continues, “As the noble command ‘Hassinu akhlaqakum’ instructs us to refine our behavior, the foundation of good character is upbringing. One sage said, ‘The happiness of every nation and the peace and prosperity of states depend on the good upbringing of youth.’ According to Islamic teachings, it is a personal obligation to properly raise one’s own children and a collective obligation to raise the orphans of the nation.”
Do not withhold your love, attention, or time from your children. If they feel your care, pride, and trust in them, they will surely grow into the kind of individuals you hope for. If you don’t want to sacrifice them for your own dreams, start by considering their interests and desires. Only then will they grow to be professionals in their fields.
Children are impressionable and reflect the environment they grow up in. If that environment is filled with immorality, it is not the child’s fault. Therefore, to raise moral and righteous children, we must first create a healthy environment. That starts with the parents themselves being well-mannered. As the saying goes, “A bird does what it sees in the nest.”
Raising a child is like cultivating a sapling. The more skilled and patient the gardener is the more beautiful and fruitful the tree becomes. Otherwise, it withers and becomes useless firewood.
Our ancestors and thinkers have left us plenty of advice and guidance regarding child upbringing. For example, Abdurauf Fitrat boldly stated:
“Let’s ask ourselves: are we, especially us Muslims and the people of Turkestan, truly raising our children? The answer is no. I’ll prove it: we care more for our livestock than for our children. I don’t mean we love them less. In fact, they are dearer to us than anything. But despite our love, we actually provide less upbringing for them than for our sheep and donkeys.
When raising animals, we carefully feed and tend to them to make them strong and healthy. But we don’t do the same for our children. We think we are raising them, but we are not. We may claim to care more for our children, but the truth lies elsewhere. If someone’s child gets sick three times a year, but none of their animals do, it shows they pay more attention to the health of their livestock than that of their child.”
Even if this seems exaggerated, the underlying point remains valid. Taking care of a child’s physical health is not the same as raising them. True development involves nurturing their physical, mental, and moral growth. A person must be able to care for both themselves and their loved ones.
So, what is the right way to raise a child? Many philosophers compare a child to a tree: the more properly it is nurtured while still a sapling, the more majestic and fruitful it will become as it grows. This raises the question: in what order should a child be brought up? First of all, upbringing should begin while the child is still in the mother’s womb, because even at that stage, the child is closely connected with its environment. If the surrounding atmosphere is healthy and positive, the child will likely be born with good character and sound morals. However, if during this period the mother’s psychological state is poor, if the parents do not discipline themselves, or if there is external pressure and stress, the result may be the birth of anxious and irritable children.
Upbringing doesn’t end there. Shouting at a child, hitting them, or threatening them does not lead to positive outcomes. Psychologists say that such actions can result in speech problems, fear, and lack of confidence in expressing thoughts. These factors severely hinder a child’s development.
For example, a mother tells her older daughter: “Take care of your little brother, and if you drop him—I’ll kill you!” She may not mean it literally, but the girl remembers the threat. If she accidentally drops the baby and he cries, the mother rushes out angrily, forgetting the knife in her hand. Seeing this, the girl recalls the threat and becomes mute from fear.
Though the mother had no intention of harming her, constant punishment and threats made the girl take the words literally.
To avoid such outcomes, always speak kindly to your children. Instead of scolding them for mistakes, explain them calmly and clearly.
Shaxnoza Poyonova Sanjarovna was born on July 15, 2005, in Choydari village, Yakkabogʻ district, Kashkadarya region. She is a second-year student majoring in Primary Education at the Shahrisabz State Pedagogical Institute.
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