By: Wanjohi. P. Mugambi
Worth Noting:
- I am confident in my child’s ability to get her homework accomplished. I will set her up for success by co-creating a routine with her and establishing clear boundaries about when, where and how it will take place. I will review these, remind her and support her. If upset, I’ll pull away and breathe before interacting.
- One key foundational principle we can remember and recite is that when adults change, our children’s behavior adapts. We can lead the charge. It’s an empowering start to our new year! How can we be the change we want to see in the world? How can we begin at home? How can it begin inside ourselves?
Happy New Year! A new year is being celebrated all over the world. I different language it is sweet saying happy new year. In French they say Bonne Annee, in Spanish is Feliz Ano Nuevo, in Welsh is Blwyddyn Newydd Dda in Italian is Buon anno, in German is Frohes Neues Jahr in Dutch, Gelukkig Nieuwjaar, in Japanese (customary after midnight) is あけましておめでとう(Akemashite omedetou) and in Polish is Szczesliwego Nowego
Everyone hold hands and step backwards and forwards making eye contact. Give each other a big smile and sway in time to the beat of the rhyme. Once you are familiar with the song, make up your own actions to go with the words
We know that every part of parenting from our everyday conversations to our greatest challenges can serve as an opportunity to grow a social and emotional skill in our children and teens and in ourselves. In fact, we have some of the greatest opportunities for growth as adults through the pushes, pulls and difficulties of being a purpose-led parent. If instinct guides our every move and choice in reaction to our children, then we have decided to replicate the training from our own upbringing for better and for worse. Yes, at times, instinct will lead us to act just as our parents did. And we recognize it the minute the phrase comes out of our mouths… “That’s not me” you think. “That’s my mother (or father).” And at other times, instinct instead may lead us to the opposite reaction our own parents displayed or intended and if that counter-reaction was born out of an act of resistance, it’s likely we will go to extremes. Often neither of these responses lead to confident and competent actions.
This new year parents should always be keen. And so in order to alter the patterns of the past that we do not want to repeat, we need to become intentional about how we parent. If we have regrets for reactions of the past, that’s a perfect place to begin. It helps to become reflective about the following questions:
– What do I want to replicate from my own upbringing?
It’s well worth listing these out and then, noticing whether these are already a part of our parenting. They most likely are. If so, this is an important affirmation and validation that these can be checked off of your worry list. You are already doing them – and you have the necessary training to do them well!
– What do I want to change that stems from my upbringing either as a repetition of outdated words and actions or an outdated counter reaction?
– When, where and how do those reactions occur?
Pick one pattern you’d like to change and set a new year’s intention. Maybe you end up nagging at homework time or end up yelling or fighting over getting work accomplished? Write down your intention to formalize it in your mind and heart. Here’s how it might look:
I am confident in my child’s ability to get her homework accomplished. I will set her up for success by co-creating a routine with her and establishing clear boundaries about when, where and how it will take place. I will review these, remind her and support her. If upset, I’ll pull away and breathe before interacting.
One key foundational principle we can remember and recite is that when adults change, our children’s behavior adapts. We can lead the charge. It’s an empowering start to our new year! How can we be the change we want to see in the world? How can we begin at home? How can it begin inside ourselves?
Understanding the way in which families help one another is vital for understanding how public services can better support them. The starting point is a recognition that most families want or need support in some form. Families give and receive support within their extended networks of family and friends. For public services to truly provide for families they should seek to support these networks and replicate their strengths when providing help. This means services which feel familial: are consistent, reliable, nonjudgemental, and accessible. This report lays out how this can be done.
None of this is easy. Throughout this Review I’ve encountered professionals at all levels who understand what is needed but are struggling to put this into practice because of some consistent barriers within the system. To tackle these, I’m publishing three reform guides alongside the Review addressing some of the thorniest issues when it comes to reforming and integrating different public services.
The guides cover: data-utilisation; local integration and outcome frameworks. In each, I have asked the question: what do families need from the system, and what is stopping professionals putting into practice? My proposals bring a fresh perspective, and some simple recommendations, to some longstanding challenges.If we really want to help families, so we can help children, we must look at parenting. We all know how important parents – including, of course, carers – are and the role they play to improve their children’s lives. Parents know more than anyone the challenges of bringing up children. They want to do what is best for their children, to grow up happy and healthy, to do well at school and to ensure everyone in the family gets on. This Review starts to quantify just how important parents are. Our research reaffirms the strong link between key parenting behaviours and children’s outcomes – whatever a family’s circumstance. Whilst policymakers can sometimes see parents as beyond the realm of public policy, speaking to parents during this Review made it clear that they want their role acknowledged. Parenting behaviours do not always match this aspiration. When we asked children what they did over the summer holidays, 79% of children who responded to The Big Summer Survey spent time reading, writing or doing art during the summer holiday, but only 30% did so with a member of their family. Yet these activities are clear examples of ways parents can support their child do well at school
Mt Kenya Times