Munavvara USMONOVA
Translated by Maftuna CHILMURZAEVA

It was not easy for me to achieve these days.
Lived like a flower, like a firewood,
I have sacrificed myself many times.
Haven’t bowed my head in front of difficulties,w
It is true I did not let my joys be known.
Some people said that I don’t have a soul,
It is true sometimes I let them down.
What a lot of troubles witnessed this head,
I added my pains to the lullabies.
When my spouse fed up with life concerns,
I carried the burden of life together.
The science of connecting things to each other,
was taught me by my mother, and life itself.
I don’t know what new secrets have been left,
Once respected me years, once threw me out.
The tears of my child saying “I eat apple”,
There is such a day that burnt in my heart.
When my teenage son was bare and naked,
I wrapped him with his father’s old robe.
I grabbed needle, scissors instead of pen,
Hoping breadwinning was greater than my poetry.
In the bottom of heart hidden everything,
I wouldn’t be whole if I didn’t be companion.
The scourge of rent in dilapidated flats,
Knocking on the door at the beginning of months.
I once took off my daughter’s lovely earrings,
There is still sign of that on her tears.
Happiness is hard to achieve, till you get,
I stumbled, maybe seventy thousand times.
Looking at my eyes with so miserable thoughts,
My poor daughter hugged pot at the age of child.
Gazing from the windows of concrete house,
On the days when missed smells of the mints.
Making oven from the scraps of paper,
The flour that was made of tears of my eyes.
One day stone, one day with snow,
Welcomed me evil mountain pass.
These roads have led me astray.
I paid compensation to my father’s distress.
Would go later, would go tomorrow,
Every day I cheated mum’s heart.
‘After this holiday, I will go’,
“Okay, come when you have some time”.
Saying I have no dissatisfaction,
Could not rub my brother’s head at last.
A day or night staying next to him
I could not even his pain once ask.
Saying I’m happy, but where is it itself?
I’m wandering over the passes.
They just watch my this situation,
Cutting me into thousand one pieces,
Some voice says that you are happy,
Exclamation comes from the darkness.
Then I open my eyes, take a deep breathe,
Thank god, I have reached this bright days.