By Mary Karau Ngethe
Worth Noting:
- Why did they spare my husband who was in the house. I got 17 cuts and he did not even get a scratch. What led to this discrimination? Could it have been Gender-Based violence (GBV)? GBV refers to violence that is directed at individuals or groups based on their gender or sex. This type of violence is often rooted in societal norms, cultural practices, and power imbalances that perpetuate inequality and discrimination
- There are different forms of GBV which include; Physical violence that involves assault, battery, or other forms of physical harm inflicted on individuals or groups based on their gender. The other form is Sexual Violence that hangs around rape, sexual assault or other forms of sexual exploitation or abuse.
Intentional parenting is an approach to raising children that involves being Deliberate, Thoughtful, and Mindful in a Parent’s Decisions and Actions.
It is about being aware of the kind of child you want to ‘manufacture’ in 18 years time. It is about developing an 18-year strategic plan for each child in your life.
I say each child because a parenting style in your first born might be different from the style you use in your second born.
I am writing this article in February, the month I remember the day a 23-year-old handsome young man led a group to break into my house and hacked me to near death. Later when I healed and went to prison to visit the young man who had been handed a death sentence, I sadly found that he had been taken to hospital, critically ill.
I wonder if he survived. I didn’t visit again because even then it was not easy to decide to go.
But, I reflected on the day that young man was born. His parents must have been very happy. I had to ask myself, at what point did this boy become a criminal and a killer? I pitied the mother who used to come to court. I asked myself, where was the father? The three did not come to kill me and my husband. He came to kill me. Why? Because I was a weaker sex or what?
Why did they spare my husband who was in the house. I got 17 cuts and he did not even get a scratch. What led to this discrimination? Could it have been Gender-Based violence (GBV)? GBV refers to violence that is directed at individuals or groups based on their gender or sex. This type of violence is often rooted in societal norms, cultural practices, and power imbalances that perpetuate inequality and discrimination
There are different forms of GBV which include; Physical violence that involves assault, battery, or other forms of physical harm inflicted on individuals or groups based on their gender. The other form is Sexual Violence that hangs around rape, sexual assault or other forms of sexual exploitation or abuse.
Also in the list of GBV is Emotional or psychological violence that includes threats, intimidation, harassment, or other forms of emotional or psychological abuse and lastly there is Economic violence that rotates around denial of economic resources, such as money or property, or other forms of economic exploitation or abuse.
My Gender Based Violence experience on Valentine Day 2014
You now agree with me, my dear reader, that based on the above points, I suffered physical violence, , perhaps because I was the weaker sex, or whatever other reason that led to the attack on me and not on the man in the house.
This article is not about getting answers to my question. It is about how us parents can produce resilient stable children brought up in love and emotional security irrespective of economic environment.
My message is based on what Oprah has said in a podcast explaining why she did not get children. She said “Raising up children the right way is more difficult than any other job in the world; it could be the most difficult among all duties of humanity”
She said she did not have the inspiration to be a parent, because much as she has so much money, she has no love to give to a child, because she was never given any by her mother.
What am I saying? That I know as a mother to adults, I know I made so many mistakes. I wish my children would be babies again. Because of what I know now that I did not know then. But I was brought up with a lot of love, a lot of it. So I believe I did not do a very bad job. But be sure of this one thing; given another chance, I would do many things differently. Among them, I would have A strategic plan for child, then I would develop principles of Intentional Parenting, key among them, self-awareness where I would first ensure I understand my own values, beliefs and emotions in order to better negotiate the many parenting challenges.
Next article, I will explain the principles of intentional parenting.
The readers who are parents of children under 18 years, please be on the lookout, or get me through marykaraungethe@gmail.com to get daily insights on intentional parenting to prevent gender based violence
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