By Thandolwethu Moyo from Zimbabwe
Most of us know that the victims of the patriarchal society which existed way back are females,girls and women ,but well today I beg to differ .Today I take a stand and change this narrative .Both boys and girls are affected by the patriarchal society .How does the patriarchal community victimises Boys?one may ask.A lot of boys have been physical abused by their fashers,uncles ,grandfathers ,sometimes of a petty issue of cattle herding in a rural setup .They cannot report it because they Will probably be told that they should man up .Toxic masculinity has abused these boy children emotional which in a case propels them to indulge into drug and substance abuse so as to counter the pain inflicted on them.
In some situations you find the boys being exposed to harsh weather conditions looking for the herds of cattle.I remember a boy once narrated to me that he was tasked to go out and look for his grandfather’s herd of cattle whilst it was heavily raining ,with thunder and lightning .He tried voicing his concern and was told that he is not sugar so he won’t melt .He completed the task as per the grandfather’s expectations however on a bad state of his healthy .Besides ,he is lucky. What if he got struck by lightning or slipped off in the mud ,maybe something worse.This is all done under the patriarchal myth that boys should be strong ,immune to certain things,and it takes you and me to disqualify such assertions .
To be strong ,one has to be strong we agree ,but bad weather is bad weather ,if you inflict pain on him using a cane he will feel it because he has skin too.Please note that I am not against the teachings of patriarchy ,but if we take a look very closely ,they are the very same reasons why boys grow up to become aggressive man ,who know only one way to resolve a dispute,which is violence .This is what they have been taught through implications,the actions of their guardians in response to their mistakes.Child abuse is child abuse and it is irrespective of gender .We have to stop it if we want responsible citizens who don’t use violence to solve their problems .
Patriarchy is the victimizer here,not boys ,maybe some men and partly women are agents,but if the boys grow up in such a setup ,they are bound to be the agents of such a society .My point is,the real evils of this patriarchal society is that both boys and girls a full time victims .Well,patriarchy does not sideline boys ,but it physically,emotionally and mentally abuses them ,same applies to girls,which makes both the genders victims.So when we are coming up with initiatives to curb such problems as NGOs ,donors ,well wishers etc ,let’s not say the girl child only ,because these are not the only victims .We shouldn’t segregate between the two (male and female ) children .
I say ;
#boys hurt too
#Power to the children,not girl child only .
Anila Bukhari